


Gabriel and the Convincing of Ten Million Angels to Stand Down From Their War Footing

by Quefish



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angels are Ready For War, Armageddon, But There is No War, Discussion of Post Armageddon Trials, Gabriel Does a Pep Talk, Gabriel has a problem, Gabriel is Not Okay (Good Omens), Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29088189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quefish/pseuds/Quefish
Summary: Gabriel returns to Heaven with a problem.
Relationships: Gabriel & Michael (Good Omens)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	Gabriel and the Convincing of Ten Million Angels to Stand Down From Their War Footing

Gabriel arrived back in Heaven having just tried to reason with the Antichrist, Aziraphale, and somehow the demon Crowley, about restarting Armageddon. He hadn’t been surprised that Beelzebub had been on his side, they understood the importance of this event. He couldn’t understand why no one else seemed to. Well, no one on Earth anyway, and considering how long they’d been stationed there, this apparently included the rogue agents, Aziraphale and Crowley.

He took a moment to calm down in the lobby overlooking Earth that he considered his office. He heard steps behind him and turned around, already sporting a smile. When he saw it was Michael, looking resplendent with her armour and weapon, he allowed the façade to slip. 

“So? What happened. You’ve not prepared yourself in armour, so I can’t imagine it went well.” 

“It didn’t. Beelzebub was on my side, as I knew they would be, tried to reason with the Antichrist to restart Armageddon. No luck. Aziraphale and Crowley were there, standing behind him like odd parents, and argued with me … ME?! About the Great Plan. Spouted nonsense about the Ineffable Plan, as though it made a difference.” Gabriel huffed and rolled his eyes.

Michael stood, silently allowing Gabriel his moment to get it out of his system before they addressed the next issue. Once he seemed to have settled, she asked, “So, now what do we tell the troops? They’ve been in formation since the trumpets sounded earlier today, waiting for the call to begin.”

“I know. Beelzebub even sympathized with me. Can you imagine how difficult it’ll be for them? Demons aren’t exactly as logical as we are.”

Michael inwardly rolled her eyes at the assumption. She’d been working with a demon for centuries, and while he was sometimes not the brightest, he wasn’t unpredictable. 

As they stood there, they felt an odd rumble and change in the atmosphere. Gabriel looked out onto the Earth below, hoping that the Morningstar had been able to convince his son to get the ball rolling, but the Earth looked just as boring and intact as ever. 

“Well, guess Lucifer failed also. After we dismiss the troops, we need to figure out what to do about Aziraphale.”

“Quite right. Well, after you.”

Gabriel gave her a Look and walked past her into an area that was filled with angels. Angels of all ranks and designations. All in their battle dress uniforms or armours, with weapons at rest but in hand. 

Gabriel stepped up to a platform to address the assembly.

“Hello, and thank you all for coming. This has been an _exciting_ time for everyone, and I am so proud to see everyone here, ready to defend and triumph in the great battle. Fulfillment of the Great Plan! We’ve all prepared for this, looked forward to it, and left our doubts behind to proceed with just and righteous force.” Gabriel paused for a cheer, but the angels were too well trained and they simply continued to watch him, standing at the ready. He gave a small sound of disappointment and looked over at Michael who shrugged her shoulders. Having received no help he turned back with a smile.

“You’ll be relieved to know that the danger has passed! There won’t be a war today, but you’ve all done amazingly with your preparations and drills. You should all be very proud of yourselves for your continued attentive readiness and attention to Heaven’s needs.” Gabriel noticed some angels looking around at each other, confused, and murmuring to each other. “Now, now, no need to thank me. It is enough that I won’t lose any of my brothers, sisters, and those who are not a brother _or_ a sister of course, to the needless violence that we would suffer at the hands of Hell. Despite our assured triumph, the risk to each other was heavy on my conscience, and I am relieved that it won’t come to pass.”

He gave the biggest smile he could. “The powers of Heaven prevail whether there is a war or not, righteous souls come to us daily and that’s truly the best reward, am I right?”

“Don’t take this time to be complacent. You never know when the demons of Hell will decide to attempt something nefarious, and we need to always be ready to meet them on the battlefield. You are all dismissed, and God bless us all.”

He gave a small wave and then stepped off the platform, hurrying to his office, trying to not look like he was hurrying. Michael followed him, her armour disappearing with a thought, her weapon safely put away. 

“How do you think it went?”

“As well as I think it could have. Not much choice, is there. They may mill about for a few years, trying to make sense of it, but eventually they will get back to work.”

Gabriel nodded, and then jumped back as a crumpled up piece of paper appeared on his desk in a small flash of green light. He picked it up and smoothed it out. He looked at his now sooty and somehow slimy hands with disgust, blinking away the mess before reading the note. Michael watched his face impassively as he started to smile.

“Michael, we may have a solution to our Aziraphale problem. Beelzebub is requesting to borrow some Holy Water to destroy the demon Crowley for his part in the interference of Armageddon. If I agree, maybe they will lend us a bit of Hellfire. Two birds stoned with another bird, I think the human phrase goes.”

“I believe the phrase is ‘two birds with one stone’, but I believe ‘tit for tat’, or 'you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours' would be more appropriate here.”

Gabriel gave a small shudder at the thought of touching Beelezebub to scratch their back and then composed himself. “Whatever, humans are so ridiculous with their things that mean other things. They should speak plainly, it would be so much easier.”

“Agreed.” Michael then looked at the note that Gabriel had set back on his desk. “I volunteer to bring the Holy Water down, I may have a vested interest in making sure the demon Crowley receives his judgement. So, when exactly is this trade to take place?”

“I'll suggest first thing in the morning, Earth time. A fine time for new beginnings.” He began crafting a response and sent it off with a small puff of violet light.

“What new beginning do you mean, exactly?”

“The new beginning of an era without Aziraphale and his ridiculous ideas and human-ness.” Gabriel shuddered, thinking of the things Aziraphale had gotten up to in his time on earth. The eating thing alone made him feel icky, and who knows what else he'd been doing down there.

“Agreed. I’ll summon Uriel, Sandalphon, and a few trusted associates and give them the orders to head up in the morning.”

“Perfect. I’ll go and prepare the Water for you, it’ll be ready when they get back with the traitor.”

Michael nodded her appreciation and left to get a team together for extraction, and Gabriel stood at the window, looking down on Earth for a few minutes. 

He sighed and headed off to create the Holy Water, and waited for Michael’s return.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a post I saw on Facebook which I have been unable to find again. So, thank you Facebook peeps, and I'm sorry I can't find you again lol


End file.
